The Legend of  
Lord Bryon is a reluctant legend.  He never intended to become a singing sensation, but his raw talent has facinated intellectuals and bizarre sex afficianados on two continents. He began his musical career by hanging around with Midwestern Underground Heavy Metal Superstars DETHKORPZ. 
Inspired by the band's devotion to sleaze and violence, he began to secretly write his own perverted fantasies down as poems.  Lord Bryon's first solo composition was an apocryphal piece entitled "Archaeology."  The story of the song went something like this:  a horny archaelogist is digging up a grave, planning to molest the Corpse -- but when he opens the casket, he finds his own Corpse inside!!!  Unfortuneately, the history of Western literature was changed for the worse when Bryon tore up his song and threw it away, being too shocked and disturbed by the implications of his very own creation! Lord Bryon's next song was entitled "Beelzebub," and it nearly met a similiar fate!  Fortuneately, this time the song was rescued from the trash and taped back together by his dormmate, DETHKORPZ member Anus Oatmeal.  The song, about Lord Bryon anally raping the Devil in Hell (!), was recorded by DETHKORPZ, and sung by Lord Bryon on DETHKORPZ's second album, Blood Whips and Vomit, along with two other original Lord Bryon compositions, "Burn At The Stake" and "Incest."  His work was so well received, he promptly dropped out of college to sing Rock & Roll full time!Lord Bryon contributed even more material to DETHKORPZ's third and final album, Metal Tit.  He contributed several verses to the title track -- where the rest of the song's lyrics by Beth Errection present the Metal Tit as a Post-Apocolyptic Mechanical Death Goddess ("In the desert She rises to sustain the chosen ones / The prophets ride to greet her and the machinery to come . . . "), in Lord Bryon's bizarre depiction he is haunted by the mysterious steely breast at every turn ("Had a dream about a horse and it's bit / woke up with my mouth on a Metal Tit . . . ,") until he attempts to change his sex and grow his own Metal Tit! ("Tried to get a kunt with my chemistry kit / but out came a steamin' Metal Tit!") Lord Bryon's other Metal Tit songs included "Butt Smokin' Reefer" (an ode to the glories of "anal marijuana"), "Burning Nipples" (another scary song about breasts), and the stupifying "C.O.R.P.S.E. Epic."  Bryon had written three songs about corpses in one sitting, so the rest of the band decided to turn them into a Rock Opera.  The resulting 10 minute Holocaust of Heavy Metal was the most elaborate recording of DETHKORPZ's lamentably short career!
 
Clearly Lord Bryon was a genius ahead of his time.  Plans were discussed to record a Lord Bryon album and go on an international tour.  A band was assembled and Lord Bryon dubbed his new unit HUXTER -- the lineup was ex-DETHKORPZ members KK Korpz (guitar) and Anus Oatmeal (bass) along with Metal Tit session drummer Menardo.  Sadly, this project netted only 3 recordings before dissolving without ever having performed for a paying audience.  The first two songs, slated to be a 7" single, were among Lord Bryon's greatest achievements:  the A-side was "Cum," an anthem about semen ("Hey man, mind your own biz! / I'll fuckin' drink my own jizz!") and the flip side was "Sex Chant," a chant about sex.
The final recording from the HUXTER sessions was an unfortuneate portent of what was to come.  The song "Society On The Run" was mildly controversial, as it pleaded for the case of a death row inmate -- but the lyrics were pure PC pabalum:  "Society just ignored young Bobby's problems / Now they want to forget about him / The power to take human life / kills us as we savor the strife / I thought Bobby cried once . . . "  Yes, inside the Hot Throbbing Slime of Lord Bryon lurked the heart of a Liberal!!!
 
Soon Lord Bryon turned his back on Rock & Roll.  He gave up his dreams of emulating his childhood hero, AC/DC's dead original vocalist Bon Scott (pictured at left.)  He re-enrolled in school and soon got a job in a legal practice on Wall Street.  But then something miraculous happened!  The sleazy antics and high testosterone levels of his new peers brought something out in him, something that had been hidden for years!  He paid a visit to ex-DETHKORPZ member Anus Oatmeal in the summer of 1995 and recorded new versions of three of his old songs ("Slut," "Jesse Helms," and the remarkable "Fuck Christ Satan") along with a brand new song he wrote for the occasion, "Gloryhole." Two more sessions in 1996 and 1997 yielded more new original songs:  "Weirton" (about a town in West Virginia famous for it's strippers), "Lesbian Vampire" (which resurrected some of the sex-and-blood imagery from Lord Bryon's earliest works), and "Sinomatic Hell" (a sort-of beat poem that is utterly indescribable.)
 
 
In 1998 Lord Bryon rejoined DETHKORPZ on at least a temporary basis.  He has recorded several songs which will appear on the forthcumming DETHKORPZ CD.  He also recently recorded  another NEW song ("Butt Slut") which will appear on the Lord Bryon greatest hits album planned for later in 1999!
 
Click here to listen to soundbites from "Sinomatic Hell"!
(Warning: Lord Bryon is exercising his "first ammendment muscle" here!)
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